From Anthony: Delaware

I was going to post a blog from the myspace site as a "classic" (meaning "re-run"), but I'm so enamoured of this Delaware concept that I think a new essay I wrote last night will pre-empt it.  Here it is:

As Desiree and I drove across the country this year, we played a game.  It was the “see-a-license-plate-from-every-state-in-the-country” game.  We have actually played it two years in a row.  The rules are these: 1. we have from the time we leave home until the time we arrive back home again to see all fifty, and 2. we must both be present in order to count the plate (though only one of us need actually see it).  Since we started from our old apartment right by a college campus that has lots of out-of-state cars parked by it, and spent the summer at a music festival that attracts people from all over the country, we had a great deal of success.  This year we saw all of them except for Delaware.  Last year we found all of them except for Hawaii and Delaware.  This is the part where every reader should say to him or herself, “What!?  They didn’t see Delaware either year?  Isn’t Delaware like… a state?  One of the lower 48?”  And I would reply, “Yes, reader!  Delaware is in fact the first state!  It would stand to reason that it still exists today and is issuing license plates to its residents.”

For a long time I made fun of Wyoming.  Part of this is because I was in a car accident there in 2001 and found everyone we dealt with there to be less than pleasant.  But part of it is because there doesn’t seem to be much of anything there.  I actually saw a cartoon lampooning this once.  It showed a map of the U.S that omitted Wyoming and everything still looked surprisingly complete without it.  I think I shall soon have to cease this mockery and take up mockery of Delaware instead.  How on Earth could we see a plate from every state but Delaware?  It defies the imagination!

I remember looking at license plates when I was a kid.  They all followed a simple pattern then.  Each plate had a background color and a different color for the type.  There were no real illustrations, except maybe for a little insignia between the letter part and the number part.  I think in those days, Pennsylvania had a little blue keystone on its yellow background.  Utah was just plain black and white if I recall.  But now all the states have fancy plates with lots of colors and intricate illustrations.  And those are just the regular ones!  I’m not even talking about the “specialty plates.”  For instance, Michigan is now white with a blue banner across the top.  The word “Michigan” is then inlaid in white in that little banner.  But there’s also a Michigan that looks like some sort of crazy Renoir painting screwed to the back of every other SUV from Ann Arbor.  Or how about the cute little New Jersey plate that has a little cartoon kitty and puppy on it to symbolize some sort of donation to the humane society?  I remember when the really snazzy “Ski Utah” plate came out.  I’ve only skied once, but I still thought the plate was pretty cool.  And I’ve always gone for the one with delicate arch on it.  I like the orange and blue together I guess.

But let me tell you about Delaware’s plate.  True, in order to do that I would have to confess that I have actually seen one.  And that means admitting that there probably still is a Delaware out there lurking on the Eastern seaboard.  Alright, I admit it all.  Sort of.  Here’s the tale of seeing a Delaware plate.  Immediately after Desiree and I pulled into our parking lot last year (thus officially ending the game) I walked across the street and saw a little dinky trailer with a nasty Delaware license plate hanging off it’s rear corner.  I ran inside to get Desiree so that she could witness the grime-coated wonder.  It was gross yellow with a non-descript dark-ish color for the lettering.  It was too late to officially be part of the game (of course… rude), but I wanted to give it the benefit of the doubt even though it was so ugly.  Trailer plates are often ugly even from states that traditionally have nice plates.  And often they don’t get renewed for decades, so the old-fashioned bi-chromatic ones can linger long into the Technicolor era.  So I waited for the next summer to see Delaware redeem itself.

Well, it didn’t.  It was the one lousy plate we didn’t see this summer.  A week after the game was over, I finally saw one.  Two of them right next to each other, ironically.  But since we live in another college town I shouldn’t have been too surprised.  And I shouldn’t have been surprised that it was butt ugly either.  Two-tone, non-illustrated, puke-colored Delaware.

Yeah.  I think Delaware is my new state to make fun of.